Stay With Me
by AllenxEdward
Summary: Allen Walker and Yu Kanda love each other very much, but they are exorcists chosen by God and it is a sin for them to love each other. They have been hiding it for a long time, but what happens when it finally gets out? Yullen! Warning: sad scenes and a little torture. Please R&R.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man, I wish it did though.**

Prologue

We always knew that it could happen, but we never worried…

We became ignorant and overconfident without our knowing…

Us meeting… Falling in Love… Kissing… Sex…

Nothing was ever planned out, it just happened.

It also just happened that we were in the midst of making love to each other when Lenalee barged in.

Everyone soon found out about us and our love. They rejected the idea, saying our love was disgusting, an abomination, and immoral. Everyone looked down on us and called us sinners.

But was love a sin? If it was then we wanted to be sinners, no matter what any one said.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: POV – Point of View. I will only say this once, due to me not wanting to type what it means over and over again. Let my sadistic love story begin…

Chapter 1

"Yu Kanda, Exorcist, Accommodator of Mugen, Member of the Order and the church. You have committed a great sin against God. You are charged with having an affair with another of the same sex as you; the other being young Mister Allen Walker. Do you deny this charge?" A Head of the Church looked down from his pedestal to see Kanda.

Kanda had his dark midnight blue hair pulled back in a ponytail, his two bangs didn't hang loose though, and they too were pulled back in a uniform ponytail. His hair was not the only thing different. Kanda sat before the heads of the church, his arms and legs shackled with crow binding spells restraining his every movement. He now wore the white garb of a prisoner, announcing to everyone that he had committed a 'terrible sin'. The teen glared at the church heads, "I deny nothing."

"Kanda, for your disgusting involvement in the act of homosexuality, blasphemy and having intercourse with a minor. You are subjected to life in prison." Another Church Head determined.

A gasp filled the crowded room; everyone was there to watch Kanda's trial.

"Do you have nothing to say, Kanda?" A Church Head asked.

Kanda glared at the Church leaders above him. They all were looking down on him and he hated it. "I have nothing to say that you would want to hear!" Kanda snapped, fire blazing in his eyes.

"Watch your tongue!" A Church Head yelled at Kanda.

"Why should I?!" Kanda yelled back.

"You will be silent!" Another Head yelled. "The last thing you should be doing is talking back, unless you want a sentence worse than life."

Kanda glared at the men, hatred filling his eyes.

"Your punishment will begin immediately. Life in containment with no interaction from anyone beside official personnel." The Church Heads all nodded in agreement. "Mr. Yu Kanda, You will now be escorted to your holding cell." The main Church Head struck his gavel, signaling that Kanda's trial was over. "Bring in the next convict please." The Head Ordered.

Kanda stood up and walked down the aisle, earning looks from everybody. He didn't care; Kanda wasn't ashamed of what he had done, until he saw Allen.

Allen was dressed like Kanda, in the white prisoner uniform. His hands and feet were shackled and his left arm was sealed.

**Kanda's POV **

My normally narrow eyes widened when I saw him. What was he doing here? I had already confessed to the Heads that it was all my doing; Allen had nothing to do with it. I practically said in front of everyone that I had raped him. So why did Allen have to go on trial?

As we walked by each other, I saw Allen out of the corner of my eye give me a soft, sad smile; I couldn't take it anymore.

I reached out and grabbed his arm. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but the binding spells and handcuffs prevented me from doing so. I rested my chin on his head and pulled Allen against my body. I felt him bury his face into my shirt.

Suddenly Allen and I were being pulled away from each other. I could feel my body growing heavier as the crows continued to bind me. "Let go of me!" I yelled, thrashing and trying to escape to get to Allen.

"Silence!" A Head yelled.

I tried to punch a crow that was trying to bind me, but my arms grew incredibly heavy , so much so that I couldn't lift them.

"Yu Kanda, You will restrain yourself!" A Head ordered.

As I struggled, I saw Allen fight against the crows binding him. "Allen!" I yelled, fighting against crows.

"Kanda we are about to…" The head couldn't finish his sentence due to me yelling a wide range of profanities at him.

I ended my rage rant calling the Church Heads bastards.

Most of the heads, looked like they were about to explode from anger; it satisfied me.

One of the Heads calmed down and looked Kanda in the eye. "I Order for his silence."

I had no idea what that order meant, but I didn't care. "Allen!" I yelled.

My binds were beginning to grow too heavy, and the Crows began to successfully drag me out of the hall.

Allen looked at me eyes wide. "Kanda!" He yelled after me, I could see a tear in his eye.

I looked at him and mouthed, I love you; before being dragged out of the hall.


	3. Chapter 2

A/N : This fanfic takes place after the storyline. There is no more Noah, but the Millenium Earl is still harvesting Akuma. The Earl is not much of a threat to society anymore. I know that this sounds weird, but this dream came to me in a dream and I thought I would share it with all of you guys. Thanks for Reading and remember… I love reviews!

Chapter 2

Kanda's body felt so heavy; he was dragged down several halls by crows, cursing and yelling the whole way there. The crows brought Kanda to a room; the room was for medical purposes. They brought Kanda over to the corner of the room and strapped him to a metal chair that was bolted to the floor.

"What the Hell are you doing, you bastards!" Kanda yelled furiously struggling against his bonds.

"We are doing as we were ordered." A crow answered.

One crow extracted a pair of scissors from his cloak.

"What the hell are you doing with those?" Kanda growled, as the crow with the scissors drew near.

"Your hair is atrocious; we will eliminate that disgusting problem for you."

"What?! I don't have a problem, you bastards. " Kanda growled, struggling.

"Hold still. This will not take long." A crow grabbed a handful of Kanda's long midnight blue hair and jerked his head back.

"Let go!" Kanda yelled. He couldn't let them cut his hair; it was the hair that Allen loved. Kanda had loved how the white haired teen would finger comb through his hair or how his hair would fall around them when Kanda was on top of Allen, loving him. They were good memories and he wasn't going to give them up without a fight. "Let go you bastard!" He yelled trying to jerk his hair out of the crow's hand.

The crow snatched Kanda's head back and with a faint snip noise, Kanda no longer felt his head being held. Kanda's eyes widened when as he watched the crow drop the long lock of hair onto the floor.

The crow grabbed another handful of Kanda's hair and began cutting.

"Let go!" Kanda thrashed as he watched his hair fall to the floor in handfuls. "Stop it! Let go! You bastards!"

Now, instead of hair falling to the floor in giant clumps, they fell as strands.

A guard watching the door laughed. "Now he finally looks like a man! I wonder were you the girl in that gay relationship?"

Kanda glared at the guard and snarled. "Go fuck yourself."

The guard laughed, "What a dirty vocabulary for an exorcist."

"That won't be a problem much longer." A crow assured the guard.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kanda growled.

"Hold him." A crow ordered. Two crows flanked Kanda and held his head still.

"What the hell?" Kanda yelled, struggling against their hold.

"Hold still or this will hurt more." The crow speaking extracted a knife from his cloak.

Kanda struggled even more as the crow placed the blade under the side of his chin. He felt the cold sting of metal as it cut into his flesh and he felt as it dug deep into his throat. Flashes of white appeared before his eyes, the pain was almost unbearable. He felt his blood flow down the front of his shirt. What the hell was happening?

The crow pulled the knife out of Kanda's neck, along with a little piece of bloody tissue. "That should work." The crow put the knife away. He turned to Kanda and smiled, before slapping him hard across his face.

A red splotch appeared on Kanda's cheek.

Kanda turned to the crow, fire in his eyes. _You Bastard!_ He paused, for no sound came from his lips. His eyes widened.

The crow smiled, "Our orders are complete. Yu Kanda has been silenced."

_You fucking bastards! _Kanda tried to yell, but nothing came out. Not even a gasp crossed his lips. Kanda was shocked, he was couldn't say anything. _What the hell did you do to me?! _ Still, not a sound escaped his lips.

The head crow nodded, satisfied. "Clean him up and take him to his cell." He ordered.

The crows released Kanda from the chair and stripped away his white blood stained prisoners uniform. The crows bandaged Kanda's neck, which was bleeding profusely and set Kanda up with a new white uniform. A different crow locked a metal ring onto Kanda's ankle, it hurt as it clamped down, but Kanda showed no signs of the pain. Kanda glared at each crow, wanting nothing more than to bash their stupid brains in; but with the crow's spells making his body so heavy, he couldn't so much as lift a finger. His voice… They took away his voice! He wanted to yell so badly, to scream words that infuriated them. He wanted nothing more than to hurt them. They dragged him to a cell and tossed him in his cell, slamming the heavy metal door shut behind them. The crows cast spells on the room to keep Kanda in, after they closed the door. They released the spells that were weighing Kanda's body down.

Even though he was free of his spell bindings, he couldn't stand to get up. It wasn't like him to wallow in self-pity, but he needed a second. He reached up and slowly touched his neck. It was tender to the touch, even with the white bandages covering it. His hand slowly progressed up to his hair, it was so short. He still had enough to run his fingers through, but not enough to pull it back into a ponytail. He thought that his hair might look a lot like Lavi's did at the moment. He slowly closed his eyes and begged to every god he could think of that Allen was safe.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kanda's POV

I paced about my prison cell, I hated being here. I hated the guards, I hated the church counsel, I hated the Order, and right now I even hated God. I wanted to yell and curse, but not so much as a whisper came from me. I could feel my neck healing itself, but as it healed I still couldn't even manage a single sound. I lay down on the little bed in my cell and looked up at the ceiling. I hated how silent it was; it felt so weird to hear nothing. Every now and then I would hear the guards outside speak about Allen and me saying that we were nothing but disgusting faggots. I wanted to yell at them and demand that they mind their own business, but I couldn't so much as utter a sound. I hated everyone so much! As I lay on my bed I thought back to my last encounter with Allen. When I had hugged him, I remember feeling his small body shaking with fear. I clutched the sheets of the bed hard, I swore to myself. If they did anything to Allen, I would personally murder each one. I sighed, I wanted Allen beside me. I wanted to hold his small body in my arms. To whisper loving words in his ear and make him blush. I wanted to kiss his soft lips and hear his soft pleasured moan as I nipped at his neck. I wanted Allen, my little Moyashi, here beside me. I hated the thought of them hurting him and throwing him into a cold, empty prison cell. Allen didn't deserve that! If anyone deserved to be punished it was me… Everything had been my fault. I was the one that agreed to come with Allen as he took me aside to confess his feelings for me, I was the one who accepted his feelings and even informed him of my own. I was the one who kissed him. I was the one to propose sex and go through with it. And I was the one to proposed sex that day and forgot to lock the door of Allen's room. I was the one that ruined our lives. I closed my eyes, guilt overpowering me. Everything had been my fault, so why was Allen being punished too? I placed myself next to everyone I hated, because right now, I hated myself for all that had happened.

_Allen… I am so sorry. _


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kanda's POV

I lost all track of time as I while I was in my cell. It had felt like weeks, but I was sure it had only been a few days. Komui visited me several times, mostly to examine my neck, which healed in a day's time, but my voice never returned. He had to tell me that the bastard crows had removed an important section of my vocal cords. He also had to inform me that because of that missing piece, I may never be able to speak again.

It hurt my pride a little to be told that, like a slap to the face. The Bastards! They didn't care, they enjoyed hurting me. They enjoyed taking away the important things in my life, just like how they took Allen…

Komui would sometimes bring Johnny with him and they would teach me sign language. I found it so boring and pointless, but I learned anyway. It was the only distraction I had in that God forsaken prison cell. After each session, Komui would leave and Johnny would stay behind and teach me more useful things like how to sign; fuck you, bastard, and 'go to hell'. Signing was pointlessly easy, but at times I would mix up my signs and say something that makes absolutely no sense at all. Johnny would laugh and I would threaten him in sign. After Johnny left, I would get bored. I would work out, practice my signs, train a little by imagining that I still had Mugen, or I would meditate.

I slept only a little in the cell, sleep always eluded me.

At meal times, the guards would always slip something through the cell door's little metal compartment. The food that they gave me never looked edible; it either consisted of some type of green-brown goo with a slice of bread and water. I avoided eating the goo and only ate it when I had to, but I would take the water and bread. My thoughts would drift to Allen. If he was in a prison cell, I prayed that they at least fed him properly and gave him real food, not this unidentified shit.

I missed Allen. He was my everything and it is hard having to deal with the thought that Allen might be suffering. I loved him! The only thing I regret was that I never told him that enough, and now… I might never get to.


	6. Chapter 5

A/N – Kanda will be signing in this part of the story. _Italics_ are his thoughts and 'single quotes marks' are for when he is signing. Remember that I love reviews! Thanks for reading and please enjoy…

Chapter 5

Komui made his way through the dungeon hallways. He noticed that the temperature down there was relatively cold; he made a mental note to get some heaters installed before the winter season. He walked looking for cell F56, Kanda's cell. He didn't know why the Order had so many holding cells their was only a small handful who had ever been thrown into the prison before, the Order certainly didn't need almost 100 cells. He found the cell and grabbed his key from his pocket. It had been almost 2 months since Kanda and Allen have stood on trial and been sentenced, the guards that once stood in front of Kanda's cell had long since been called off duty. It took Komui a second to find the correct key before unlocking the door and entering.

Kanda's POV

I tried to escape multiple times, but I long since have given up on that effort. The metal anklet that was strapped to my leg had a magic spell on it. It refused to let the wearer out of its sealed room without a magic seal covering it. No matter how much I tried I couldn't remove the anklet. I tried to pry it off, break it, slide out of it, and I even broke my foot to see if I could possible manage to slip out of it; but my efforts were in vain. I hated the dumb thing!

I was meditating when I heard my cell door's lock click. I looked up to see Komui enter and close the door behind him.

"Good afternoon Kanda." Komui smiled and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

I rolled my eyes. _Why the hell was he bothering me? _In sign, I told him to leave; but Komui laughed.

"Come now Kanda. I have news that you might want to hear." Komui smirked.

_Great, what is the bastard hiding from me? _ I signed,'What?'

"What if I told you that I can arrange for Allen to come to your cell every now and then?"

My heart stopped for a second, before having to calm myself. _Komui wouldn't give me false hope… Would he?_

'What do I have to do in return?' _He had to have a price of some sort._

"Nothing." Komui smiled. "I just thought you looked lonely. I know that Allen is. He's been asking about you."

That information caught my attention. 'What did you tell him?'

"I am not allowed to relay any information about either of you to the other. The only thing I could tell him is that you are alive and safe, I am not even allowed to say specifics."

'Then why are you letting us see each other?'

"I am not in charge of prisoner cell transfers." He smiled. "Reever is in charge of that issue. And it so happens that…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper with something written on it. "Allen Walker A.K.A. Prisoner #49, detainment room – C23 is being transferred," Komui read, "to room F57. Reasons for transfer: cell's average room temperature in the night is 40 degrees Celsius, a broken pipe runs above the ceiling and drips water in multiple places in the cell, and the final reason being that Prisoner #49 has developed a bad case of hypothermia. Approval for a transfer is needed." Komui finished reading and looked up.

I looked at him my eyes wide. _Allen was sick? And the bastards weren't taking time to put in an extra effort to get the permission to move him? _ I wanted to punch Komui in the face.

"We have gained permission to move him tomorrow morning, but seeing as Allen's condition is getting worse, we plan to do it tonight." Komui looked Kanda in the eye. "Listen, the only reason I am telling you this is because you can't repeat the information that I am giving you now. I can't tell Allen because he might let the information slip before tonight, by accident."

I sighed; at least Allen was still able to speak.

"We will bring him here tonight around 11. He will be oblivious that he is being moved to your cell, so please try to keep him quiet."

I shot him a glare. _How the hell did he expect us to communicate?_

"Well," Komui stood up. "Have a nice day. I will be back after lunch for our sign class."

I nodded slowly, not paying attention anymore to my surroundings. _Allen… _I would be able to see him again.

Komui walked out, closing the metal door behind him.

I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling and smiled.

_Allen…_


	7. Chapter 6

A/N – I am sorry, but this is another odd chapter. I apologize for the shortness. Please enjoy!

Chapter 6

Kanda's POV

I waited for hours, I wished I knew what time it was, but I didn't mind, I just wanted those Bastards to hurry up and bring my little Moyashi to me.

Eventually I heard hushed voices walking down the hall. A faint click sounded, as my cell door was unlocked.

I stood up and watched as Allen stumbled in and tripped on one of the stones of the stone floor, he fell to the ground as the door was slammed shut behind him.

I ran to his side to help him up, trying to see if he was okay after his fall. I wrapped my arms around him, when he screamed.

"Who are you?! Stay away!" He yelled as he backed away. He started into a coughing fit, which lasted a while. Allen backed himself into a corner and coughed a few more times. "Who are you?!" He demanded.

I was hurt. _Did those bastard crows somehow manage to erase me from his memories?_

Allen… It's me… Kanda… I love you. I mouthed as I approached him.

Allen's beautiful silver eyes wondered around the room, passing over me once or twice.

"Where are you?!" He cried.

I paused, right in front of him.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kanda's POV

_Allen… What is going on?_ I gently grabbed his hands.

"Stop! Please!" He cried as he pulled his hands away and tried to sink away into the wall. "Why won't you answer me?!"

I didn't know what to do.

Allen's eyes wondered around the room, they never truly focused on anything. It then hit me, like a brick.

I slowly waved my hand before his face, he never reacted.

_Allen…_

I gently grabbed his hands once again, he screamed and pulled away, but I pulled him into a hug and gently placed a tender kiss on his soft lips. He stopped squirming and relaxed as I kissed him.

I released his lips. He 'looked' up at me. Now that I was so close to him, I could see his eyes. They were no longer a beautiful silver, but a dull gray.

"K-Kanda?" He asked, uncertain as he shook a little in my arms.

I kissed his forehead in confirmation.

"Please answer me." He begged, a small tear escaped down his cheek. "I'm scared." He whispered.

I held him close, I wished I could speak to answer him.

"Kanda?"

I gently guided his left hand to my cheek, I slowly nodded.

"Kanda, why won't you speak to me?"

I guided his hand to my neck and slid it along my neck tracing my faint scar.

"You can't talk?" Allen asked, finally realizing.

I placed his hand back on the side of my face and nodded.

Another tear slipped down his face. "Kanda, I'm so sorry."

I wanted to slap him, if this was anyone's fault then it was my own. I forced Allen's chin up so he was 'looking' at me in the eyes. I wanted him to know that I was upset.

Tears fell down his cheeks as he hugged me.

I held him and let him cry, I had a feeling that he hadn't done so in months.

Eventually he stopped crying and I was able to just hold him, he coughed a few times. I finally checked his forehead. He had a fever. I guided him to the bed, going slow for Allen. I laid down and pulled him down beside me.

He coughed before looking up at me with unseeing eyes. He gently felt my face with soft fingers. His fingers strayed to my hair and I watched as his small smile changed to a sad expression. "They cut your hair." He observed as he ran his fingers through my hair. He followed my jawline to my lips and leaned in and kissed him. I put his fingers to my lips and mouthed, I love you.

He smiled and cupped my cheek. He leaned in and tried to kiss my lips, but missed. I smiled and repositioned myself so he could try again.

He coughed.

I smiled sadly and pulled him to my body.

He nuzzled my neck and rested his head in the crook of it. "I love you." He mumbled before falling into a peaceful sleep.

I smiled, _I love you too._


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kanda's POV

Allen woke the next morning and morning and stretched as he yawned.

I slowly opened my eyes and smiled as I watched him wake up. I gently pet his soft white hair.

Allen laid back down against my chest and nuzzled my neck.

I gave him a sad look, which I knew he couldn't see. Nuzzling my neck had always been his sign for he wanted sex. I gave a silent sigh and kissed his cheek and slowly shook my head no.

Allen's facial expression turned from loving to sad, even a little crushed.

I kissed Allen again, this time square on the lips. I sat up and pulled Allen onto my lap. I kissed him until I heard something down the hall.

Allen 'looked' up at me hearing it too. "What is going on?"

I wanted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. My cell door unlocked and some men came in. I held Allen closer, not wanting them to take my little Moyashi.

The men grabbed Allen and dragged him, against his will, out. "Kanda!" He cried, scared.

I ran up and placed a kiss on his lips. I took his hand and placed it against my lips. _I love you._

"I love you too." Allen whispered as they dragged him away, leaving Kanda alone.

Kanda felt his lips and begin to wonder if it was just him or was Allen's temperature was higher than last night.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Komui did all he could, Kanda knew that, but he couldn't control Allen's fever.

Kanda hated them, every single last one of them. Kanda wore a black suit and tie, but he was still in shackles, with Crows at his sides so he couldn't escape. In Kanda's hand, he held a single white lotus.

Everyone gathered into the room, they were all silent, showing respect. The only sound was rain pattering on the roof.

It was raining pretty hard that day, making it perfect for a funeral.

A few sniffling people could be heard amongst the crowd.

Kanda spotted Lenalee crying, her brother holding her for comfort.

After everyone said their goodbyes, Kanda was allowed to approach the casket. He slowly looked inside and saw him.

Allen looked like he was just sleeping. He looked so peaceful. He wore a white dress shirt with black pants. His hands were clasped over his chest.

Kanda gently set the flower in his clasped hands. A tear slipped down Kanda's cheek. He gently kissed Allen's lips, they were so cold. Tears streamed down Kanda's cheeks.

The Crows grabbed Kanda's shoulders; they needed to return Kanda to his cell. They forcefully pulled Kanda away from Allen.

Anger grew in Kanda, _First they take him away from me. Then they blinded him. They are the reason he got sick. They are the reason why he DIED! _ Kanda lashed out and struck the Crows, knocking them unconscious. He ran over and held Allen's body in his arms, crying. He wished he could scream, to yell, to curse, to wish them all to go to hell. He held Allen in his arms and rocked him. _I'm so sorry, Allen. You never deserved this._

More Crows ran in.

Kanda pulled out a cuff link on his suit and broke it, making it sharp. Kanda took the cuff and raked it down both of his wrists. _Please, let me die. I am tired of living for so long. _He bleed heavily, but the cuts were healing.

Crows tried to bind him, but he resisted, punching, biting, kicking, anything.

_Please, let me join him! _Kanda begged.

The Crows tackled him and covered his wounds.

Tears ran down Kanda's face. _No! Stop it! _

Everyone paused when they heard something shatter. They all turned around and saw a pile of broken glass at General Tiedoll's feet.

Kanda felt himself weakening.

Link ordered that the Crows stand down.

Kanda staggered to Allen's casket, barely able to walk. He held Allen's innocence hand and kissed it. _I'm sorry, but you won't be lonely anymore. We can be together forever now, like how you wanted. _Kanda kissed Allen gently and closed his eyes, resting his head on Allen's chest.

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"Chief Komui…," Tiedoll said and cleared his voice. "I have one request for my pupil."

"What is it?"

"Please cremate my pupil and his love."

"Yes of course." Komui nodded.

"They deserve to be together. Even if it is in death."

**A/N : Thank you for reading and I really hope you review it always makes me happy to hear feedback. I really enjoyed this fanfiction and I hope you all liked it too. Thank you. **


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